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Cape Cod, United States
__I see with young eyes, an old mirror. Here, I hope to offer... as I see.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Our pond... last Saturday night.  


distant train
its whistle in this quiet
our moon floats

12 comments:

John McDonald said...

nice couple M
john

joo said...

Oh, so lovely:)

Lorraine said...

There is nothing I love more, well maybe a few things then the long-distant mournful sound of a train...I love this so much Doug

Gillena Cox said...

moon and whistle, nice journey couplets


much love...

sandy said...

A train whistle is one of those sounds that can send you off in a direction, isn't it?

This is going to be one of my favorites.

Devika Jyothi said...

'Our Moon' - when exactly did that happen!?

'this' 'that' and i presume 'ours' too is a no-no in haiku, I read --
shouldn't that be avoided? (i remember i spoke with you of "this")

just asking -- a student's doubt who learned about haiku here as well, Magyar....You won't believe i've been discussing haiku with two teachers here :)

wishes,
devika

Devika Jyothi said...

'Our Moon' - when exactly did that happen!?

okay, i remember you saying...the purest believes whatever in front of their eyes to be theirs - leave the question...the pure shall not be questioned :)

wishes,
devika

Kristin Riggs said...

Oh, how I love trains! Moonlight and train sounds...it sounds like your pond is a lovely place to be! Enjoy yourself. Love this poem!

Sincerely,
Kristin

Frank... said...

A very atmospheric haiku, Magyar. I like it a lot...

Magyar said...

Joo... as always I thank you, and I'm glad you like my "scribbles."

LL... That distant sound, always seems a tearful song of those departed souls. Best to you LL!

Gillena... The moon belongs to us all, the sound to nnly those that hear it. As always, love to you!

Sandy... Such thoughts that sound can incite! Fine wishes for your thoughts!

Dev... Yeah, those crutch words I do -so often- try to avoid. Using them then, can explain the failure of my haiku; they, perhaps, become aphorisms. Yet, so often, some respected haijin will discribe what they expect the haiku/senryu guidelines are," then they write some of their haiku/senryu... out-of-bounds, according to their own pronounced guidelines. Thanks, Dev.!

Kristin... And often the night birds add their comments. So good to see you Kristin! Thanks!

John... Thanks always!

Frank... So much can be imagined in that that is before your eyes, ain in your ears!

I thank you all! _m

Devika Jyothi said...

Yea, there i have to agree too, Magyar...like as they say for music is a vast ocean, so must be haiku...a vast, very vast ocean - but more and more i read, i like traditional haiku -- there's always more to it,

anyway, that's just me,

wishes,
devika

Gerry Snape said...

very evocative and super use of words. Thankyou.