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Cape Cod, United States
__I see with young eyes, an old mirror. Here, I hope to offer... as I see.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Water Face

_I scribbled a short story years ago: At the native clan's summer camp, a Mahican child saw his reflection in the river's pool; through accumulated summers, the river's pool never changed... but his face never stopped... . This sedoka, (some may not call it that,) as a condensation of that story, was posted on 11/11/07 at .
_Janice's most recent post "reflected" this memory... though now, it has become somewhat "edited."

of this river pool
a mahican sees his face
in its roaming course

of that water face
this child of spirits reasons
he may never know


Devika said...

Good one, Magyar
Most Indian rivers are wastelands in summer- just pools of sand,

not familiar with the forms you say...but made an enjoyable read :)


Janice Thomson said...

I very much like this Magyar - such a delightful and evocative example of permanence and impermanence.
I am not familiar with sedoka but would definitely like to try one...

Tikkis said...

Sedoka - Katauta (Mondo).
I see those as early wakas (nowadays a waka is called tanka.)

As two katautas in Japan were 5-7-7 and two of those katautas was a sedoka? Was that so?

Putting them together just leaving one 7-syllable line away: a waka. (Tanka!)?

Anyway 'inside' the other languages it is always not so wise to count all syllables, I think.

Katautas were separate love-poems, and when the first writer got an answer = sedoka?

Nupi wiyon (Water + moon in Mohegan)

Water moon --
You are my friend
in this camp?

- A long comment, but I was so excited !-)

Magyar said...

Thanks all, and Tikkis... remember I said above -somewhat "edited"-?

The original posting at WHW was written in 5-7-7 format, I pared away a few words.

In -North Western- Connecticut one segment of the M o hicans were referred to as M a hicans, and the river I saw? the Housatonic.

Gillena writes Sedoka... very well.

Dalloway said...

this is delightful.. I particularly like a japanese art form telling a Mahican story

polona said...

interesting, the things that inspire us...
i very much like this

RBroeker said...

Sedoka and mahican - I don't know more then the names and some subtitles. But you made me curious. Strong image!

Best wishes