Seasons end like sunsets; the Catbirds have flown. _m
days close
words that cross this silent pond
birds fly south
- Magyar
- Cape Cod, United States
- __I see with young eyes, an old mirror. Here, I hope to offer... as I see.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
This reads like three separate items, a form generally avoided in haiku, which is generally structured around a central juxtaposition. Is that what you intend, or am I missing something?
Haiku don't always have to play by the rules.
Good one, Magyar...
Best wishes,
Karol
I don't see these as three separate items. It made me think of the language of the birds calling to each other across the lake, bidding farewell as they begin to head south.
that time again...you write it so gently
__With a smile, I'll punctuate.
Day's close words that cross this silent pond; birds fly south.
I love that second line!
yes fall is on the way.
this is such an interesting one; i read Bills comment and i see where he's coming from; but there's also another take, which more clearly exposes the fragment and phrase eg if we read
"days close and birds fly south
words that cross this silent pond"
much love...
well done M
john
__Friends, I thank you all; your comments are fully understood, and respected! _m
my ship
sails before the storm
a following sea
This is a nice one. Such a lovely image.
Your blog is superb, what a great idea!
Post a Comment